TW: My Immortal
by toobeauty
Summary: Ianto does some thinking at home. Ianto's POV


**TITLE**: _My Immortal_

**AUTHOR**: too_beauty  
**DISCLAIMER**: I don´t know the people involved, they belong to BBC, if not I would try to convince Jack that WE, women can love him better.  
**PAIRINGS/CHARACTERS**: Ianto / Jack (implied)  
**GENRE**: Romance/Angst./

**AUTHOR'S NOTES**: My mother tongue is Spanish and I work without a beta so all the mistakes are mine.

**Feedback:** yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.

Ianto was back in his flat after his day work at Torchwood 3. He fished his key from his suit pocket, turned the key twice and stepped into his flat, leaving his shinny black leather shoes near the entrance door. He took off his suit jacket, rolled up his pink shirt sleeves, loosened his dark rose tie, and sat in the living room couch, in front of his TV, holding his head between his hands.

He was feeling blue and in need of solitude, that´s why he was spending the night at his flat and not with Jack in the Hub. The Captain was a bit surprised when Ianto refused his offer of a DVD movie and pizza.

Jack knew that Ianto was in need of his "time alone" so he didn´t insist; just brushed his lips on his forehead and turned back to his office where loads of paperwork was waiting for him.

Ianto knew he had to do a lot of thinking, especially after Jack´s coming back and even though he was happy, something was eating his guts and his feelings were spinning inside his heart as a whirlwind.

Ianto wanted to cry, not a very manly attitude, but he needed to get rid of his angst. He stood up and went to rest by the window and seeing the snowflakes fall down, he began to speak his mind and nude his soul.

I'm so tired of being here, Suppressed by all my childish fears and not so childish ones as the biggest one I have is that you were gone without me, without telling me, after your Doctor, and that you can leave me again.

But if you have to leave once more, I wish that you would just leave forever because I can´t stand it, my heart won´t be able to tolerate another break-up and 'Cause your presence still lingers here, around my flat, around every room where we had made love, share a movie or just stay in each other´s arms; And it won't leave me alone, it is like a shadow, always behind me, without a body but with such a strong presence that you can still feel it.

And here I am, once more alone and These wounds won't seem to heal, they remained as if they were the natural sign of your departure; This pain is just too real, no matter how long you were gone because There's just too much that time cannot erase.

When you cried after someone has deceived you, I'd wipe away all of your tears and hold you tight in my arms, cradling your immortal body against my chest so you can feel my heartbeat.  
When you'd scream when you had nightmares about all the things that had recently happened to you, I'd fight away all of your fears so you can finally have some hours of sleep in my bed, tucked there as if you were a child, And I held your hand through all of these years because you need me, even though you don´t want to recognize you are not so strong as you want us believe. But you still have All of me, in spite of the fact that you flirt with anything alive even if you are with me by your side, despite you left me and ran after him.

You used to captivate me By your resonating light that appeared in your 100-watt-smile; Now I'm bound by the life you left behind because you taught me that life can be different.  
Your face haunts My once pleasant dreamS, in them your eyes kept looking at me and your lips searching mine; Your voice chased away All the sanity in me because I missed it, I missed your "I love you" s against my forehead.

This pain is just too real, no matter how long you were gone because There's just too much that time cannot erase.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone forever, that you wouldn´t come back to me But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along because we must recover the time we lost, because you are still in pain due to your suffering and torture; because I don´t know how to react to your coming back, because I still love you so much and I am afraid at the same time.

Perhaps tomorrow date will clear things out, … perhaps.

The words on CAPITAL LETTERS belong to the lyrics of "My Immortal" by Evanescence.  
_H__ere is the link to enjoy the video and music _

.com/watch?v=idd_92ajjwY


End file.
